Shrivelled Nuts Metal Sign | Funny Wild Swimming & Cold Water Gift

Water?

Freezing.

Swimmer?

Committed.

Nuts?

Best not discussed.

Meet the Shrivelled Nuts Metal Sign from Kimmer Wild Swimmer — a cheeky 8” x 8” metal sign celebrating the colder, funnier and slightly less dignified side of wild swimming.

Featuring original Cookie artwork and proper Kimmer humour, Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant gift for wild swimmers, cold-water swimmers, winter dippers, ice swimmers and swim buddies who can laugh at what happens when the water temperature heads firmly in the wrong direction.

Cold water.

Big laugh.

Dignity optional.

Shrivelled Nuts – Cold Water Humour, Kimmer Style

Cold-water swimmers know.

There are consequences.

Some are exhilarating.

Some are invigorating.

Some are perhaps better laughed about.

Shrivelled Nuts celebrates that gloriously cheeky side of wild-swimming culture with the sort of joke guaranteed to get a reaction from the swim group.

Perfect for people who love:

• Wild swimming

• Cold-water swimming

• Ice swimming

• Winter dips

• Cold plunges

• Swim-group banter

• Original Cookie artwork

When the Water Is Properly Cold

There is chilly.

There is cold.

And then there is the sort of cold that makes you question several life choices at once.

Shrivelled Nuts captures that wonderfully exaggerated post-dip reality with classic Cookie humour.

Temperature?

Low.

Conversation?

Predictable.

Made for Swimmers with a Sense of Humour

Not every swimming gift needs to be inspirational.

Some should simply make people laugh.

Shrivelled Nuts is for the swimmer who enjoys:

• Cheeky humour

• Cold-water banter

• Slightly rude jokes

• Outdoor madness

• Not taking themselves too seriously

Inspired by Kimmer Wild Swimmer

Kimmer Wild Swimmer celebrates people who dive headfirst into life.

And sometimes water cold enough to make everyone else stand on the shore asking:

“Why?”

The collection is inspired by:

• Wild swimming

• Ice swimming

• Winter dips

• Open-water adventures

• Swim friendships

• Outdoor freedom

• Plenty of laughter along the way

Shrivelled Nuts sits very firmly in the laughter section.

Original Artwork by Cookie

Shrivelled Nuts features original artwork by British cartoonist Cookie, created with Kimmer’s adventurous personality and cheeky sense of humour in mind.

Cookie’s artwork is known for:

• Original hand-drawn illustration

• British humour

• Strong characters

• Wild-swimming themes

• Outdoor inspiration

• Cheeky observations

• Designs that make people laugh

Not ordinary wall décor.

Proper cold-water comedy.

Brilliant Funny Wild Swimming Gift

Wild swimmer with a questionable sense of humour?

Found their sign.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant gift for:

• Wild swimmers

• Cold-water swimmers

• Winter swimmers

• Ice swimmers

• Sea swimmers

• Swim buddies

Great Ice Swimmer Gift

Ice swimmer?

This one practically writes itself.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant gift for people who willingly enter water most others would avoid completely.

Great Winter Swimming Gift

Summer swimmer?

May not fully understand.

Winter swimmer?

Absolutely will.

Perfect for people who keep swimming through:

• Frost

• Snow

• Winter mornings

• Cold beaches

• Icy water

Great Cold Plunge Gift

Cold-plunge fanatic?

Sorted.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a funny addition to:

• Cold-plunge areas

• Ice-bath spaces

• Garden dip setups

• Swim sheds

• Changing rooms

Great Swim Buddy Gift

Every swim group has one person who will laugh immediately.

Usually several.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant gift for:

• Swim buddies

• Dipping partners

• Wild-swimming groups

• Cold-water friends

Great Gift for Him

Looking for something cheeky for a male wild swimmer?

Perfect.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a funny gift for:

• Dad

• Husband

• Partner

• Brother

• Friend

• Workmate

Great Gift for Dad

Wild-swimming Dad with a sense of humour?

Sorted.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a fun gift for:

• Birthdays

• Father’s Day

• Christmas

• Just-because presents

Great Gift for Friends

Know somebody who will laugh before you even explain the title?

Definitely their sign.

Ideal for friends who appreciate:

• Cold-water humour

• Wild-swimming banter

• Cheeky gifts

• Original cartoon artwork

Great Beach Hut Sign

Beach hut owner and winter swimmer?

Even better.

Shrivelled Nuts adds some cheeky Kimmer humour to:

• Beach huts

• Coastal retreats

• Seaside changing areas

• Swim spaces

Great Campervan Sign

Cold-water road trip?

Perfect.

The compact 8” x 8” size makes Shrivelled Nuts a fun decorative addition to:

• Campervans

• Motorhomes

• Adventure vans

Especially those carrying:

Wet towels.

Swim robes.

Cold-water kit.

And somebody with a very questionable sense of humour.

Great Swim Shed Sign

Wild-swimming shed?

This one belongs there.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant addition to:

• Swim sheds

• Garden rooms

• Kit areas

• Utility rooms

• Changing spaces

Brilliant Birthday Gift

Cheeky.

Original.

Very cold-water.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant birthday gift for a wild swimmer who does not take themselves too seriously.

Great Father’s Day Gift

Dad loves wild swimming and terrible jokes?

Excellent combination.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant Father’s Day gift.

Great Christmas Gift

Buying for a swimmer who already owns:

A changing robe.

Swim shoes.

Several towels.

A flask.

And far too much cold-water kit?

Try wall art.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a funny Christmas gift for wild swimmers.

Great Secret Santa Gift

Office wild swimmer?

Someone with a slightly inappropriate sense of humour?

Even better.

Shrivelled Nuts makes a brilliant Secret Santa gift.

High-Quality Metal Sign

Shrivelled Nuts is produced as a high-quality metal sign, giving Cookie’s original artwork a bold decorative finish.

Durable, eye-catching and full of personality, it is made for spaces where ordinary décor simply will not do.

Rust-Resistant, UV-Resistant & Fade-Resistant

Designed for lasting display, the sign is:

• Rust-resistant

• UV-resistant

• Fade-resistant

• Durable

Suitable for indoor use and appropriate sheltered outdoor spaces.

Easy Hanging with Pre-Drilled Holes

The sign features pre-drilled holes for quick and straightforward mounting.

No complicated installation.

No frozen fingers required.

Just hang and enjoy.

Perfect 8” x 8” Statement Size

At 8” x 8”, Shrivelled Nuts is compact enough for smaller spaces while still getting plenty of attention.

Perfect for:

• Swim sheds

• Cold-plunge areas

• Beach huts

• Campervans

• Garden rooms

• Home bars

• Garages

• Changing spaces

Shrivelled Nuts – Cold Water, Questionable Consequences

Water?

Icy.

Swimmer?

Still smiling.

Dignity?

Long gone.

The Shrivelled Nuts Metal Sign from Kimmer Wild Swimmer combines original Cookie artwork, cold-water humour and cheeky wild-swimming banter in one durable 8” x 8” metal sign.

For wild swimmers.

For ice swimmers.

For swim buddies.

For Dad.

For anyone who knows that freezing water gives you plenty to joke about afterwards.

WARNING: May result in uncontrollable sniggering, brutal swim-group banter and immediate accusations of “that sign was definitely bought for you.”

Kimmer Wild Swimmer – Cold Water. Warm Laughs.

Product Details

• Design: Shrivelled Nuts

• Range: Kimmer Wild Swimmer

• Artist: Cookie

• Theme: Wild Swimming, Cold Water & Cheeky Humour

• Product: Metal Sign

• Size: 8” x 8”

• High-quality metal

• Rust-resistant

• UV-resistant

• Fade-resistant

• Pre-drilled holes for easy hanging

• Suitable for indoor use and appropriate sheltered outdoor spaces

• Original Cookie artwork

• Brilliant funny wild-swimming gift

Perfect For

• Wild swimmers

• Cold-water swimmers

• Ice swimmers

• Winter swimmers

• Sea swimmers

• Swim buddies

• Wild swimming groups

• Cold-plunge fans

• Dads

• Partners

• Friends

• Workmates

• Beach hut owners

• Campervan owners

• Swim sheds

• Birthday gifts

• Father’s Day gifts

• Christmas gifts

• Secret Santa gifts