Kimmer Cards – Shrivelled Nuts! | Funny Rude Wild Swimming Card

Cold water.

Brave face.

Unexpected consequences.

Shrivelled Nuts!

The Shrivelled Nuts! Greeting Card from the Kimmer Cards collection by Baaad Flockers® is a brilliantly cheeky card inspired by the less glamorous side of wild swimming, cold-water dipping and winter adventures.

Made for swimmers with a sense of humour, this rude-but-funny design is perfect for birthdays, swimming buddies, cold-water dippers or simply sending someone a card that will make them laugh before they’ve even opened it.

Refreshing?

Apparently.

Flattering?

Maybe not.

Made for Wild Swimmers with a Sense of Humour

Cold-water swimmers are a hardy bunch.

They talk about temperatures.

They compare swim spots.

They insist it really isn’t that cold.

And occasionally they have to accept that cold water has certain… consequences.

The Shrivelled Nuts! Card is perfect for:

• Wild swimmers
• Cold-water swimmers
• Winter swimmers
• Open-water swimmers
• Sea swimmers
• Swimming buddies
• Outdoor adventurers
• Dipping groups
• Cheeky friends
• Anyone who appreciates rude British humour

A Brilliant Funny & Rude Wild Swimming Card

Looking for a card that definitely isn’t boring?

Shrivelled Nuts! combines cold-water swimming humour with the cheeky personality of the Kimmer range.

Perfect as a:

• Funny wild swimming card
• Rude wild swimming card
• Cold-water swimming card
• Winter swimming card
• Funny swimmer birthday card
• Birthday card for wild swimmer
• Swimming buddy card
• Funny card for him
• Cheeky friendship card
• Adult humour card
• British humour card
• Just because card

Blank Inside – Your Message, Your Way

The Shrivelled Nuts! Greeting Card is blank inside, giving you complete freedom to add your own message.

Something heartfelt?

You could.

Something cheeky?

Much more appropriate.

Or simply:

“Still worth the dip?”

We already know the answer.

Premium 300gsm Silk Card

The Shrivelled Nuts! Card is printed on premium 300gsm silk card, giving it a substantial, sturdy and high-quality finish.

The heavier card stock gives the artwork a premium feel while making this cheeky design worthy of keeping long after the laughter has stopped.

Rude humour.

Serious quality.

148 x 148mm Square Greeting Card

Each Shrivelled Nuts! Greeting Card measures approximately 148 x 148mm.

The square format gives the artwork plenty of room to stand out while remaining a practical size for posting, displaying or keeping as a reminder of yet another questionable cold-water decision.

Each card comes complete with a white envelope, ready for your own personal message.

More Than Just a Birthday Card

You don’t need a birthday to send Shrivelled Nuts!

It works brilliantly for:

• Birthdays
• Swimming buddy banter
• Winter dipping milestones
• Cold-water swimming groups
• Friendship messages
• Congratulations
• Cheer-up cards
• Swimming achievements
• Outdoor adventures
• Just because

Sometimes the entire reason for sending a card is simply because it made you laugh.

Cold-Water Swimming – Kimmer Style

Kimmer Cards celebrate the wonderful, ridiculous and occasionally uncomfortable world of wild, open-water and cold-water swimming.

The freezing feet.

The numb fingers.

The steaming drinks afterwards.

And the shared jokes that only other swimmers really understand.

Shrivelled Nuts! is very much one of those jokes.

Cold Water Has Consequences

Wild swimming can be exhilarating.

Refreshing.

Invigorating.

And, apparently, a little unforgiving.

The Shrivelled Nuts! Greeting Card celebrates the funny side of cold-water adventures and the swimmers who keep coming back for more anyway.

Cold-water swimming should always be enjoyed with suitable experience, preparation and safety precautions.

WARNING: Sending Shrivelled Nuts! may result in loud laughter, offended dignity and somebody insisting that the water “wasn’t even that cold.”

Heard, Never Herded.