Kimmer Cards – Emergency Axe | Funny Ice Swimming & Cold Water Card

Water frozen?

Of course it is.

Normal people heading home?

Probably.

Kimmer?

Emergency Axe.

The Emergency Axe Greeting Card from the Kimmer Cards collection by Baaad Flockers® is a brilliantly funny card inspired by the determined, slightly bonkers spirit of ice swimmers, winter dippers and cold-water adventurers.

Created for those people who see freezing temperatures as part of the challenge rather than a reason to stay indoors, Emergency Axe is perfect for birthdays, swimming buddies, winter swimmers, cold-water fanatics or simply making someone laugh.

Cold outside.

Colder in the water.

Still going in.

Made for Ice Swimmers & Cold-Water Adventurers

There are swimmers.

Then there are winter swimmers.

The people who check the water temperature and somehow get more excited as the number gets lower.

The Emergency Axe Card is perfect for:

• Ice swimmers
• Cold-water swimmers
• Wild swimmers
• Winter swimmers
• Open-water swimmers
• Swimming buddies
• Outdoor adventurers
• Cold-water dipping groups
• Brave friends
• Anyone who believes swimming season lasts all year

A Brilliant Funny Ice Swimming Card

Looking for a card that captures the more extreme side of outdoor swimming?

Emergency Axe celebrates the humour, determination and sheer enthusiasm of people who keep swimming when winter arrives.

Perfect as a:

• Ice swimming card
• Cold-water swimming card
• Funny wild swimming card
• Winter swimming card
• Wild swimmer birthday card
• Open-water swimming card
• Swimming buddy card
• Funny card for swimmer
• Outdoor adventure card
• Winter swimmer card
• Friendship card
• Just because card

Blank Inside – Your Message, Your Way

The Emergency Axe Greeting Card is blank inside, giving you plenty of room to add your own message.

Something heartfelt?

Perfect.

Something ridiculous?

Even better.

Or simply:

“Still fancy a dip?”

We already know the answer.

Premium 300gsm Silk Card

The Emergency Axe Card is printed on premium 300gsm silk card, giving it a smooth, sturdy and high-quality finish.

The substantial card stock helps the artwork look crisp while giving the finished card a premium feel in the hand.

Freezing humour.

Proper quality.

148 x 148mm Square Greeting Card

Each Emergency Axe Greeting Card measures approximately 148 x 148mm.

The square format gives the artwork plenty of room to stand out while remaining a practical size for posting, displaying or keeping as a funny memento.

Each card comes complete with a white envelope, ready for your own personal message.

More Than Just a Birthday Card

You don’t need a birthday to send Emergency Axe.

It works brilliantly for:

• Birthdays
• Swimming achievements
• Winter dipping milestones
• Friendship messages
• Cold-water swimming groups
• New adventures
• Congratulations
• Cheer-up messages
• Outdoor-loving friends
• Just because

Sometimes a shared joke deserves its own card.

Ice Swimming – Kimmer Style

Kimmer Cards are inspired by the wonderfully adventurous world of wild, open-water and ice swimming.

The early starts.

The cold feet.

The steaming mugs afterwards.

And the strange conversations that only make sense to people who willingly get into freezing water.

Emergency Axe captures that slightly extreme, very funny side of the Kimmer world.

When Cold Water Isn’t Cold Enough

For most people, winter means layers, heating and staying somewhere warm.

For ice swimmers?

Apparently it means checking whether the swimming kit is dry.

The Emergency Axe Greeting Card celebrates the people who refuse to let a little cold weather interfere with their adventures.

Cold-water and ice swimming should always be approached with appropriate experience, conditions, safety precautions and local guidance — this card is firmly about the humour, not breaking into unsafe water.

WARNING: Sending Emergency Axe may result in discussions about water temperatures, neoprene versus skins and someone announcing that “once you’re in, it’s actually lovely.”

Heard, Never Herded.